My Reactions to New 52 Wonder Woman

 

Not an indepth article, but my actual reactions to the issues. Trust me. This made my rage much more comprehensible... it think.

Warning: This article is done for laughs and should not be taken 100% seriously. Seriously. You want something serious, head to the credits ;) 

Okay, lets see what this is all about...

Oh, wow, that’s Apollo? He looks so cool! The redesigns of the gods are so awesome! Looks like they’re actually effectual this time and...

Looking good so far... little confused about what's going on but...

Omigosh, this is it!

...This... is how you introduce Wonder Woman? Naked in bed and strangling a woman? There was no OTHER way to show Wonder Woman defending herself from a potential enemy? ...And why are we in London...?

Really? Could have fooled me!

And wow, is this ever anticlimatic!

*snicker* Okay. That was a little funny.

Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

Oh, Sh--!

Okay, so it's been a little anticlimatic so far. But it has some good moments. I'll try the next issue...

Hey! The bathing suit costume actually makes sense this time, cause half of the Amazon's are wearing the same thing! Kinda looks a little gladiator-ish...

And now we get the origin story. Nicely written. Is it just me, or is Zola and Hermes breaking the 4th wall here? XD

Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

Hmm... so Wonder Woman has a father. Well, this isn't the first time someone's played with the idea. I wonder if Zues enchanted the clay, or if her "mother and [Zeus] sculpted [her] together" like Hades in JL Unlimited...

K, so the Amazon’s aren’t exactly the nicest people but... I’m okay with that. I like the realitonships building here. And y’know, this comic is looking good. Sure it has it’s problems but it has really great art, great ideas and---

Wait...

They're not...

What.

WHAT?

WHAT!?

WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHA-- *brain temporary crashes from rage... rebooting in 3... 2... 1...*

WHAT?!

You... you... WHY?! Why would you take away a unique, and key part of Wonder Woman's origins?! Taking away her clay origins is like making it so that Batman’s parent’s died, but he never witnesses it. It’s a very small, but very CRUCIAL part of her character...

K... for the sake of open-mindedness,  I’m going to... TRY and ignore the fact that you took about the origin William Marston gave her. Comics will always change and the series does seemed to be loved. 


But I will call bull for not only giving Diana Wonder Girl’s origin... but giving her one of the most unoriginal, over done, and in this case, unnessary origins ever. YAY.

Hold on, how did Hera NEVER find out about this until now? Zola isn’t even showing and yet Hera knew about Zola, before Hypolita’s extremely long affair/pregancay? That... makes no utter sense...

Except we haven’t actually seen what being Wonder Woman means! Having her beat up two lackeys does. Not. Count.

... Does the Azzarello actually understand what a character arc is? Because even if people like this revelation, it’s COMING TOO SOON. This should be a heart wrentching scene! Diana just found out her life was a lie, but we only just learned about her fake origin in the last issue. And this “Clay” thing was just brought up this issue! Things are happening so fast that this development seems tacked on and I don’t feel invested at all!

I need something to wash this down with...

I bought a digital copy, so here's a link to where i got the image

FUUUUUUUU---!!


(Sigh... okay. I don't a solid issue to scan and I can't find the images I want. So here's my reacion anyway)

Who is this person?! "Always looking for a fight?". Really?

I might have put up with this except we still get little to no introduction to Wonder Woman, and any JL member that isn't Batman is either inept, immature, idiotic, or bull headed. I'm not even going to talk about issue 2. Really, the only interesting part of this series is Cyborg and the involvement of the others is holding him back.

Oh, and Aquaman shows up at the end. He doesn't actually do anything, he just shows up. I can see why they decided to increase the price to 3.99 for this issue...

Link to related article :D

Yep. It doesn't bother me at all.

...Why am I buying this?...But... so tempting... cover... so cool...

...Okay, I'll admit it. I totally approve of Wonder Woman liking rock/punk/metal/whatever it is their playing. But I'm a little weirded out that she's wearing my clothes...


Why are we in london again?

o_o

Danggit Wondy! Stop acting badass! I'm trying to hate you!

...

...

o_o

O_O

;_;

;_;

Wow. That was... wow.

K, I take it back, this guy can write some gut wrenching scenes, and Chaing can certainly draw them. Well, despite the incredibly stupid change to the origin, maybe this won’t be so bad after all. I'll get the next issue...

... Oh, this cover does not instill confidence...

AH! MY EYES!

*whimpers* But the last artist was so awesome...


And, again, why are we in London?!

I like how this guy is holding a sausage, cause he seems like a big d---- what? Someone was going to make that joke.

Wait, what's wrong with the waitress in the background? Maybe she's sick of being in this comic...

Heres’ a thought. Maybe you should use you’re LASSO OF TRUTH on him? Y’know, the lie detector the writer seems have completely forgetton about?!

Gee, the loss of you’re whole family, probably hundreds of amazon sisters turn to snakes and you’re own mother turned to stone, is really bothering you, isn’t it?

Gah! What’s wrong with you’re face?

When did you go through this? Was it off panel? I swear half of this story is happening off panel

Wait. Are we seeing a flashback to a flashback? One that Wondy was told about off panel, like, an hour ago? What was the point of that?  Geh, this issue has more badly placed jump cuts then... Something else with badly placed jump cuts... What? The comic’s giving me too much of a headache to be witty.

... Huh. Um... Am I reading that right? Uh, is that a spelling error? A typo? Is there a comma missing? *calls in the background* Hey, mom! You're a teacher--- does this sentence make any sense to you? No? I was afraid of that...

Why, hello, Wonder Woman's boobs. You're looking rather perky this issue...

... that is freakin’ cool.

Really? Twice in one issue? Really editors?

That's Hades?...I don’t know whether to make a wish on his head and blow out the candles or cover him with a censor bar.

And the bondage jokes strike again!

BWAHAHAHAHA! Hey, Hera, I think you should cut back on the martinis! Oh, my gosh, is anyone else picturing her with the voice of Howard's mom from Big Bang Theory?

No I'm not buying this one. So here's the link.

...No. I’m not doing it. Forget it. No way, no how. I’m not doing it again...

... I guess it would be okay to look at the first page... right?

GAH! HERES THE LINK! CAN I STOP LOOKING AT IT NOW?

AAH MY EYES! WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A JAPANESE HENTAI?!!!

...That’s it. I give up! I don't care if Cliff Chiang is coming back for the art in the next issue! I'm getting sick of being jerked around by this comic! I’m going to read something that doesn’t hurt my eyes or brain... come to think of it, these comics remind me of something... Except it was being sarcastic and satirical...

Ah. right. I think i’ll go read that.

Seeya,
 Tegan Dumpleton aka Sluglady28

Credits/ Real review:

Images belong to DC and were scanned in by me unless otherwise noted...

Don’t take this too seriously. So what do I really think about it? Well, if you found my comments a little bipolar... that sums it up pretty nicely. I’ve been having a love/hate relationship with the book from the beginning, and my final verdict was split at many times. After issue 3, i was ready to rip this comic a new one. But then issue 4 came... Ya.


And that also sums up everyone else’s reaction too. Some hate the book with a passion, while others believe it’s the best of the new 52 run (some one please think of a new name for the run. Please)

And when the crowd is this divided, I really doubt i’m gonna change anyones minds.

So, yes, I hate the changes made to Wonder woman. In fact, I find alot of it insulting. I love the revamp of the gods (except Hades). But desptie the fact that Azzarello can write really great moments, I think he’s having a hard time stringing them together in a sensical storyline. Maybe I just don’t like his style. 

In issue 5, I realized that most of my love (or rather, my toleration) for the book, had more to do with Cliff Chiang's absolutely stunning art, which helped a lot with the tones of the book. With Tony Akins, any positive feelings I had, have been washed away. I was also less then impressed with finding not one, but TWO grammer issues in the book. And yes, my mom is a teacher and yes, I had her read both sentences, in context. And even though you kinda get the gist of what it means, we both agreed the sentences were really awkward.

Like I said, I'm done being jerked around and I’m pretty much going to ignore the book until it’s run is either done, or it suddenly gets inexplictly better. Despite some of the positive reaction to the book, I somehow doubt that this new wonder woman will catch on for very long. But hey, if you like the story, that’s fine by me.

... Okay, one more for kicks:

WOO WOO!